![\"Domestic](\"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/1465826152_Liz20Roberts20Deputy20CEO20and20Chief20Program20Officer.jpg\")
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By Liz Roberts Safe Horizon is the nation\u2019s largest victim service organization, providing a continuum of services for victims of domestic violence. I am often asked to speak about domestic violence at conferences for other social services professionals or to give a quote about the issue for news and media outlets. In this domestic violence FAQ, I will provide answers to some of the questions I am often asked about domestic violence.<\/p>\n One of the most common reactions people have when they hear reports of domestic violence is to say \u201cwhy doesn\u2019t the victim just leave?\u201d When you haven\u2019t been through it yourself or worked with survivors, you may not realize that things often get worse before they get better when a victim of abuse makes the decision to leave.<\/p>\n Some of the barriers to leaving are concrete, like financial and housing worries, and others are emotional or cultural. Overcoming these barriers takes tremendous strength and courage. I\u2019d like to hear people ask \u201cwhy does the abuser do it?\u201d rather than \u201cwhy does the victim stay?\u201d Instead of blaming the victim of the abuse, let\u2019s turn our attention towards the person who is causing the harm.<\/p>\n Emotional abuse is often the most difficult component to overcome \u2013 an abuser\u2019s constant putdowns linger in a survivor\u2019s mind long after bruises have healed.\u00a0 Financial and sexual abuse are also common parts of an abusive relationship, can can have serious, lasting impact on survivors.<\/p>\n Another common misconception about domestic violence is that it is a \u201cprivate matter, \u201d playing out in a particular family and in a particular household. But actually domestic violence is hurting us all, every day.<\/p>\n Survivors are at greater risk for poor health, both physically and emotionally. The costs of this increased need for healthcare drive up healthcare costs for all of us. Survivors are also more likely to lose jobs (often because of the abuser\u2019s interference with their work), and may be less productive at work, which impacts the economy. Children and teenagers who witness domestic violence are more likely to commit violent acts, making our schools and communities less safe. Also, if abusers perceive third parties such as friends or colleagues as helping victims escape their control, such bystanders can face violent retaliation as well.<\/p>\n Domestic violence shows up in every one of our programs. At our Child Advocacy Centers<\/a>, often the caregiver of the abused children is being abused, too. Child abuse and domestic violence are intimately connected \u2013 national studies show that 40 to 60 percent of child abuse takes place in the context of adult domestic violence. At our Anti-Trafficking Program, it\u2019s not uncommon to learn that clients were initially vulnerable to exploitation because they were desperate to escape domestic violence in their homes. At our Streetwork Project, many of the homeless young people we serve describe childhoods in which they witnessed severe domestic violence.<\/p>\n The fact is, all forms of interpersonal violence are closely connected. Fortunately, at Safe Horizon, there is no wrong door for children and adults who have been harmed by domestic violence. Wherever survivors present, our expert staff is trained to respond in a client-centered, compassionate manner, making sure each client knows about the full range of options and resources available.<\/p>\n Silence allows the issue of domestic violence to thrive. In 2015, Safe Horizon launched the #PutTheNailinIt campaign to spark a conversation around domestic violence by asking supporters to take the vow to end domestic violence. <\/strong><\/p>\n People from around the world who want to help end domestic violence have been supporting and helping spread awareness of the campaign by following these three simple steps:<\/p>\n By doing these three things, you can help end the silence around domestic violence and raise funds to help Safe Horizon shelter thousands of domestic violence victims and their families, answer tens of thousands of calls to our domestic violence hotline, provide critical transportation for victims, legal assistance, counseling, and much more.<\/p>\n And now I have one question for you. Will you take the vow to help end domestic violence?<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Safe Horizon\u2019s Deputy Chief Executive Officer and Chief Program Officer Liz Roberts answers questions she is often asked about domestic violence.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":{"id":2036,"alt_text":"Domestic Violence FAQ by Liz Roberts, Deputy CEO and Chief Program Officer at Safe Horizon","caption":"","description":"","media_type":"image","media_details":{"width":267,"height":400,"file":"2016\/07\/1465826152_Liz20Roberts20Deputy20CEO20and20Chief20Program20Officer.jpg","sizes":{"thumbnail":{"file":"1465826152_Liz20Roberts20Deputy20CEO20and20Chief20Program20Officer-150x150.jpg","width":150,"height":150,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","ewww_image_optimizer":"Reduced by 8.7% (395.0 B)","source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/1465826152_Liz20Roberts20Deputy20CEO20and20Chief20Program20Officer-150x150.jpg"},"medium":{"file":"1465826152_Liz20Roberts20Deputy20CEO20and20Chief20Program20Officer-200x300.jpg","width":200,"height":300,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","ewww_image_optimizer":"Reduced by 4.4% (402.0 B)","source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/1465826152_Liz20Roberts20Deputy20CEO20and20Chief20Program20Officer-200x300.jpg"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0","keywords":[]},"ewww_image_optimizer":"Reduced by 6.0% (1.2 kB)"},"post":2035,"source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/1465826152_Liz20Roberts20Deputy20CEO20and20Chief20Program20Officer.jpg"},"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2015],"tags":[320,92,433],"class_list":["post-3136","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-safe-blog","tag-domestic-abuse","tag-domestic-violence","tag-liz-roberts","issue-domestic-violence"],"acf":{"page_header_title":"","page_header_excerpt":"","page_header_image":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/silhouette_hero_image.png","original_url":"","related_initiative_title":"#PutTheNailinIt","related_initiative_link":"http:\/\/putthenailinit.com\/","related_initiative_link_text":"You can help end domestic violence","featured_posts":[{"ID":3775,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2017-01-20 19:20:32","post_date_gmt":"2017-01-20 19:20:32","post_content":"*Please be aware that this story contains details of domestic violence act that may be upsetting to readers.\u00a0<\/em>\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_3838\" align=\"aligncenter\" width=\"849\"]
\nOctober 10, 2016<\/em><\/p>\nWhat are some of the Common Misconceptions about Domestic Violence?<\/strong><\/h1>\n
What Important Non-Physical Aspect of Abuse is Frequently Overlooked?<\/h1>\n
How Does Domestic Violence Impact Us as a Society?<\/h1>\n
Do you think Safe Horizon\u2019s Work for Survivors of Domestic Violence Permeates the Organization as a Whole?<\/h1>\n
What Can People Do Who Want to Help End Domestic Violence?<\/h1>\n
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![\"Survivor](\"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/Survivor-of-Domestic-Violence-Alejandra-Tells-Her-Story-2-1.jpg\")
Survivor of Domestic Violence: Alejandra Tells Her Story[\/caption]\r\n\r\nAlejandra* grew up in a poverty-stricken and violent area of Honduras, where she was raised by extended family members after her mother was murdered by a former paramour. When Alejandra was old enough, she moved to the capital city to try and earn a better living for herself. There, she met Carlos. The two began dating and, at first, he was friendly, charming, and affectionate. Eventually, they moved in together and she became pregnant with their first child.\r\n\r\nAfter Alejandra became pregnant, Carlos became increasingly violent. After a particularly violent incident where Carlos strangled her, Alejandra knew that she would never be safe from Carlos\u2019 abuse. Having seen the Honduran\u2019s police unwillingness to get involved in family violence to protect her mother or her friend, who were also victims of violence, Alejandra knew she would have to flee in order to be safe.\r\n\r\nWhen Carlos learned through family that Alejandra was trying to flee to the United States, he brutally raped her, telling her \u201cshe was always his woman\u201d and that, \u201cno matter where she went, he would find her.\u201d Fearing for her life, Alejandra and her oldest child Asylee* left the very next day.\r\n\r\nAlejandra and Asylee\u2019s journey to the United States was both long and dangerous. They traveled on foot and by bus through Guatemala and Mexico. Often, Alejandra had only enough food and water to give Asylee. Once she reached the United States border, she told a customs and border patrol officer that she was afraid for her life to return to Honduras.\r\n\r\nSomeone who is afraid to return to their country of origin may be eligible for asylum in the United States, if their fear is based on past persecution or a well-founded fear of future persecution because of their race, religion, national original origin, membership in a social group, or political opinion, and if they can show their country is unwilling or unable to protect them. As a survivor of domestic and sexual violence, customs and border patrol permitted her entry into the United States so that she could request asylum before an Immigration Judge.\r\nConnecting Alejandra to Supportive Services<\/h1>\r\nAlejandra traveled to New York City and was connected to a Bronx-based immigrant rights organization, who helped her find temporary shelter and connected her to the Safe Horizon\u2019s Immigration Law Project <\/a>(ILP). At ILP Alejandra met one of our warm, compassionate legal professionals named Kristen. Kristen guided Alejandra in filing an asylum petition. ILP provided Alejandra with full legal representation, helping her to prepare her asylum case, apply for a work authorization, and get connected to mental health and social services resources. After months of preparation, Alejandra went before an Immigration Judge at the New York Immigration Court, where she gave powerful testimony about the impact the physical violence and verbal abuse she suffered had on her life to this day. As a survivor of domestic violence, Alejandra told the Judge, \u201cI still have difficulty sleeping and concentrating. Sometimes I feel worthless and devalue my own self. His words are still inside me. I make an effort not to remember [all that I suffered], but [the words] are still there.<\/em>\u201d\r\n\r\nThe Immigration Judge granted her asylum, providing both Alejandra and Asylee* status and protection here in the United States. The very same day, Alejandra\u2019s work authorization card came in the mail, which meant Alejandra could work toward her dreams of saving enough money to rent an apartment, reuniting with her youngest child still in Honduras, and earning a college education. In one year, she will be able to apply for a green card.\r\n
As an Immigrant Survivor of Domestic Violence, Alejandra Encourages Others to Get Help<\/h1>\r\nSince her grant of asylum, Alejandra has felt more empowered and has worked hard to continue building a life for herself and her daughter here in the United States. She is proud of how far she has come and urges other immigrant survivors of domestic and sexual violence to seek help.\r\n\r\nAlejandra was one of the 1,191 clients that ILP provided full representation to in 2016. ILP is staffed with trained and experienced attorneys that advocate on behalf of immigrant survivors of crime, torture, or abuse in New York City. ILP\u2019s expert legal immigration knowledge contributes to assisting all victims of crime, regardless of their immigration status.\r\n\r\nSafe Horizon believes that all victims of violence or abuse, including domestic violence, should be able to seek justice without fear because of their immigration status. You can help ensure that all victims of violence can seek justice by signing our pledge here.<\/a>\r\n\r\n
![\"Pledge\"](\"http:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Pledge.jpg\")
<\/a>\r\n\r\n* Client names and identifying information have been changed to protect their privacy. Images used are representations of Safe Horizon\u2019s clients.<\/em>","post_title":"A Survivor of Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse Finds Hope and Healing in America","post_excerpt":"Alejandra, an immigrant survivor of domestic violence and sexual abuse, tells her heartbreaking story and urges other survivors of domestic and sexual violence to seek help.","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"survivor-domestic-violence-sexual-abuse-alejandra","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-03-10 22:19:19","post_modified_gmt":"2021-03-11 03:19:19","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"http:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/?p=3775","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}]},"yoast_head":"\n