![\"How](\"http:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/How-to-Help-a-Friend-in-an-Abusive-Relationship-1.png\")
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Health.com<\/em> Excerpt Below:<\/p>\n If a friend was in an\u00a0abusive relationship<\/a>, you would figure it out\u00a0so she could get help,\u00a0right? Don’t be so sure.<\/p>\n That’s because domestic abuse\u2014also known as intimate partner abuse\u2014isn’t as obvious as you’d think. Though it’s characterized by physical violence and the threat of violence, it also includes\u00a0emotional<\/a>\u00a0abuse, sexual abuse, and stalking. While signs of physical assault can be evident, these other behaviors are\u00a0likely to go\u00a0under the radar.<\/p>\n October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, so we\u2019ve asked experts to tell us how to recognize that what might seem like a toxic or difficult relationship a friend is in\u00a0is something more serious\u2014and then help her find safety before the abuse escalates.<\/p>\n If she’s bombarded by texts and calls\u00a0from her boo when they’re apart, tune in. \u201cI\u2019ve met with survivors who receive multiple calls and texts from their partner just while they\u2019re sitting in my\u00a0office<\/a>,<\/em>\u201d says Jimmy Meagher, director of the Domestic Violence and Empowerment Initiative at Safe Horizon. If she has to repeatedly check in with her partner,\u00a0that could be a tip-off\u00a0that her significant other\u00a0is tracking her behavior in an unhealthy way.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you suspect a friend or family member is being abused, talk to them at a safe time and place, away from their partner or anybody else who could overhear and potentially compromise their safety,<\/em>\u201d advises Meagher. Arrange to meet up for coffee after work, for example, or plan an evening jog\u00a0or fro-yo run\u00a0that’s just the two of you.<\/p>\n When you bring up your concerns, use \u201cI\u201d statements instead of sentences filled with\u00a0\u201cyou,\u201d\u00a0which will make her less likely to feel blamed or attacked and then react defensively.\u00a0For example, “I notice Sam\u00a0has been calling and\u00a0texting<\/a>\u00a0you all night and I\u2019m concerned about that. Is everything okay?<\/em>” You’re not accusing her partner of anything; just voicing your observations.<\/p>\n It\u2019s natural to want to immediately step in if you think a loved one might be involved with an abuser. But telling your friend\u00a0how to handle the situation or asserting that you’re going to call authorities\u00a0won\u2019t necessarily help.\u00a0\u201cSurvivors are the\u00a0experts<\/a>\u00a0in their own safety,<\/em>\u201d says Meagher. \u201cThey know their abusers best and they know what has worked to keep them safe in the past and what hasn\u2019t.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n If they do share that they have experienced abuse, validate what they are saying and how they are feeling. Avoid “you need tos,”\u00a0“you have tos,”\u00a0and “you shoulds.”\u00a0This language can actually make victims feel even more\u00a0disempowered. Plus, you could come off as judgy\u2014behavior no one responds well to.<\/p>\n \u201cI would voice concern in a non-judgemental way and\u00a0normalize<\/a>\u00a0their experience by saying something like, \u2018I think anybody who has experience X would feel similar to how you\u2019re feeling right now,<\/em>\u2019\u201d suggests Meagher. Remind her that you are there for her and willing to do whatever she wants you to do to help her get out of the relationship or find safety.<\/p>\n Read the original article here.<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" How can you help a friend who is in an\u00a0abusive relationship? Jimmy Meagher, director of our Domestic Violence and Empowerment Initiative explains.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":{"id":4868,"alt_text":"How to Help a Friend in an Abusive Relationship","caption":"","description":"","media_type":"image","media_details":{"width":788,"height":426,"file":"2017\/10\/How-to-Help-a-Friend-in-an-Abusive-Relationship-1.png","sizes":{"thumbnail":{"file":"How-to-Help-a-Friend-in-an-Abusive-Relationship-1-150x150.png","width":150,"height":150,"mime-type":"image\/png","source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/How-to-Help-a-Friend-in-an-Abusive-Relationship-1-150x150.png"},"medium":{"file":"How-to-Help-a-Friend-in-an-Abusive-Relationship-1-300x162.png","width":300,"height":162,"mime-type":"image\/png","source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/How-to-Help-a-Friend-in-an-Abusive-Relationship-1-300x162.png"},"medium_large":{"file":"How-to-Help-a-Friend-in-an-Abusive-Relationship-1-768x415.png","width":768,"height":415,"mime-type":"image\/png","source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/How-to-Help-a-Friend-in-an-Abusive-Relationship-1-768x415.png"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0","keywords":[]}},"post":4864,"source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/How-to-Help-a-Friend-in-an-Abusive-Relationship-1.png"},"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[72],"tags":[687,92],"class_list":["post-4864","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-safe-horizon-in-the-news","tag-abusive-relationship","tag-domestic-violence","issue-domestic-violence","issue-victims-of-other-abuse"],"acf":{"page_header_title":"","page_header_image":false,"original_url":"","related_initiative_title":"You can help end domestic violence","related_initiative_link":"https:\/\/hubs.ly\/H08Q7gm0","related_initiative_link_text":"Take the Vow, Donate, Paint and Share today","featured_posts":[{"ID":4486,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2017-05-23 19:45:02","post_date_gmt":"2017-05-23 19:45:02","post_content":"\n Updated: March 2024<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n By Jennifer Koza<\/em> Survivors may experience many kinds of abuse. While physical abuse is frequently recognized, emotional abuse is also common but often less talked about<\/strong>. Emotional abuse can be used along with other tactics to exert power and control over survivors. According to a study<\/a> from The National Domestic Violence Hotline, based on their 2020 service data, 95% of contacts stated they were experiencing emotional abuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To understand emotional abuse, we must first understand the difference between emotional abuse and conflict. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n To understand emotional abuse, we need to understand the difference between emotional abuse and normal conflict.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Conflict<\/strong> is a normal part of any relationship and is a healthy way for two people to express emotions, identify an issue, and have a chance to talk through whatever issue is bothering them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Emotional abuse<\/strong> involves nonphysical behavior that belittles another person and can include insults, put down, verbal threats or other tactics that make the victim feel threatened, inferior, ashamed or degraded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Have you ever experienced the feeling of having a knot in your stomach when dealing with someone? Did something in your relationship just feel off? When someone feels scared, confused or like nothing they do will ever be right, this may be a sign of emotional abuse.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Emotional abuse is behavior from another person that makes you consistently feel badly about yourself, like you just can\u2019t be you. Emotional abuse is not limited to romantic partner, but can be perpetrated by a family member, friend or coworker. Emotional abuse can make you feel guilty, ashamed, silenced, violated, uncomfortable or many other things. Emotional abuse can be harder to identify since no one else can necessarily \u201csee\u201d its effects like they can a bruise, cut, or a scar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Abusive behavior is often motivated by a desire for power and control but the reasons why that need exists varies. Maybe the person who hurt you didn\u2019t do so on purpose; maybe they did. While it\u2019s helpful to understand the \u201cwhy\u201d, the reasons are not an excuse for harmful behavior- but they can make everything more confusing. Emotional abuse is complicated and disorienting. Below are 5 common signs of emotional abuse:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nBy Anthea Levi <\/em>
\nOctober 11, 2017<\/em><\/p>\nRecognize the Signs<\/h2>\n
Broach the Subject<\/h2>\n
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May 23, 2017<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nEmotional Abuse vs. Conflict<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
When is Conflict Actually Not Conflict, but Something More? When is it Emotional Abuse?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
What is Emotional Abuse?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
5 Signs of Emotional Abuse<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Help and Resources for Emotional Abuse Survivors<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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