![\"5](\"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/5-Ways-to-Support-Someone-You-Love-Who-Has-Experienced-a-Traumatic-Event-1024x683.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
December 26, 2017<\/em><\/p>\n The holidays can bring up all kinds of emotions. If someone close to you shares with you that they have had an experience of abuse or violence, it can be shocking, and often it\u2019s difficult to know what to say. If it happens, here are some ways you can help:<\/p>\n Even when you disagree or don’t understand.<\/p>\n Know that trauma\u2014 both the experience itself and how its impact stays with us\u2014 can be challenging to communicate clearly to others.\u202f Be patient.<\/p>\n Try not to interrupt, even though you may be feeling anxious to take action. Asking yes or no questions might force them into an area they don\u2019t want to discuss. Instead, ask open-ended questions and let them decide how they want to answer.<\/p>\n About how they feel or what their needs are.<\/p>\n You can offer options, but avoid telling them what they “should\u201d do, even with good intentions. Instead, ask how you can be helpful.<\/p>\n Their experience may be affecting them in ways that might not make sense to you, but are very clear to them. The effects of trauma are both mental and physical, and they are far more complex to overcome than, \u201cTry not to think about it,\u201d or \u201cJust let it go,\u201d even if it occurred a long time ago.<\/p>\n And keep in mind that they may not feel like talking at the time.<\/p>\n It\u2019s important to let them know that you care, but not to go so far as to make them feel fussed over, or like they are a problem that needs to be managed.<\/p>\n Share these tips by clicking the graphic below:<\/a><\/p>\n Safe Horizon\u2019s Hotlines operate 24 hours a day, including on holidays. Your call is confidential. Whether you\u2019re in crisis or you\u2019re unsure if your experience constitutes abuse, violence, or crime, we\u2019re here to help. Call 1-800-621-HOPE (4673)<\/a> to speak with an advocate today or visit our Hotlines page for more information<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Has someone shared with you their experience of abuse or violence? Read our 5 tips on how you can support someone who has experienced a traumatic event.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":{"id":5191,"alt_text":"5 Ways to Support Someone You Love Who Has Experienced a Traumatic Event","caption":"","description":"","media_type":"image","media_details":{"width":4300,"height":2870,"file":"2017\/12\/5-Ways-to-Support-Someone-You-Love-Who-Has-Experienced-a-Traumatic-Event.jpg","sizes":{"thumbnail":{"file":"5-Ways-to-Support-Someone-You-Love-Who-Has-Experienced-a-Traumatic-Event-150x150.jpg","width":150,"height":150,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/5-Ways-to-Support-Someone-You-Love-Who-Has-Experienced-a-Traumatic-Event-150x150.jpg"},"medium":{"file":"5-Ways-to-Support-Someone-You-Love-Who-Has-Experienced-a-Traumatic-Event-300x200.jpg","width":300,"height":200,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/5-Ways-to-Support-Someone-You-Love-Who-Has-Experienced-a-Traumatic-Event-300x200.jpg"},"medium_large":{"file":"5-Ways-to-Support-Someone-You-Love-Who-Has-Experienced-a-Traumatic-Event-768x513.jpg","width":768,"height":513,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/5-Ways-to-Support-Someone-You-Love-Who-Has-Experienced-a-Traumatic-Event-768x513.jpg"},"large":{"file":"5-Ways-to-Support-Someone-You-Love-Who-Has-Experienced-a-Traumatic-Event-1024x683.jpg","width":1024,"height":683,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/5-Ways-to-Support-Someone-You-Love-Who-Has-Experienced-a-Traumatic-Event-1024x683.jpg"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"3.2","credit":"Getty Images\/iStockphoto","camera":"NIKON D810","caption":"Sad hispanic woman being comforted by a friend","created_timestamp":"1481718519","copyright":"Juanmonino","focal_length":"105","iso":"800","shutter_speed":"0.0015625","title":"Comforting friend","orientation":"1","keywords":["Solidarity","Bad News","Real People","Candid","Widower","Portrait","Relationship Difficulties","Only Women","Only Mature Women","Women","Females","Two People","Consoling","Mourner","Community","Fine Art Portrait","Widow","Diabetes","Alzheimer's Disease","40-44 Years","40-49 Years","Mature Adult","Adult","Crying","Arm Around","Embracing","Tear","Mexican Ethnicity","Frustration","Weakness","Problems","Hopelessness","Adversity","Unity","Togetherness","Support","Emotional Stress","Sadness","Disappointment","Depression - Sadness","Despair","Friendship","Loss","Care","Outdoors","Horizontal","Head And Shoulders","Distraught","Worried","Human Face","Black Hair","Illness","Mother","People","Menopause","Headshot"]}},"post":5189,"source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/5-Ways-to-Support-Someone-You-Love-Who-Has-Experienced-a-Traumatic-Event.jpg"},"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2015],"tags":[807,775,571],"class_list":["post-5189","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-safe-blog","tag-abuse","tag-trauma","tag-violence","issue-victims-of-other-abuse"],"acf":{"page_header_title":"","page_header_image":false,"page_header_excerpt":"","original_url":"","related_initiative_title":"How do we help survivors of trauma?","related_initiative_link":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/our-services\/what-we-do\/","related_initiative_link_text":"Learn about how we can help","featured_posts":[{"ID":5188,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2017-12-20 19:37:03","post_date_gmt":"2017-12-20 19:37:03","post_content":"1. Listen Compassionately and Without Judgment<\/h1>\n
2. Let Them Guide the Conversation<\/h1>\n
3. Don’t Make Assumptions<\/h1>\n
4. Remember that Healing is a Complex Process<\/h1>\n
5. Check in With Them Later<\/h1>\n
![\"5](\"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/5-Ways-to-Support-Someone-You-Love-Who-Has-Experienced-a-Traumatic-Event.png\")
<\/a><\/p>\nPlease know that you and your loved one are not alone. If you need to talk, we\u2019re here to listen.<\/h2>\n
\r\n\r\nDecember 20,\u00a02017<\/em>\r\n\r\nMany of us have experienced abuse or violence at some point in our lives. These experiences can cause lasting trauma reactions. Traumatic experiences are those that overwhelm a person\u2019s regular capacity to cope and process the situation. Trauma reactions can leave you feeling, thinking, or reacting in ways that feel out of your control.\r\n\r\nHaving the support of family and friends is helpful in the healing process. Trauma is painful to deal with alone, but sometimes it\u2019s even more painful to imagine discussing it with your loved ones.\r\n\r\nTrauma recovery is different for everyone, and you are the expert in your own situation. It\u2019s entirely up to you to decide when and how to share your story. If you\u2019re ready to tell someone you love that something\u2019s happened to you, here are 5 tips that may be helpful:\r\n1. Think about what you need from the person you\u2019re telling, and let them know<\/h1>\r\nThis might look like, \u201cI\u2019m not really ready to problem-solve right now, I just need someone to listen,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m nervous that you won\u2019t believe me, and I need you to keep an open mind\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t want to upset you, and I hope we can talk about this calmly even though it\u2019s hard.\u201d\r\n
2. Collect your thoughts<\/h1>\r\nSharing your story is very personal, and emotions can make it challenging to communicate the way you want to. If there\u2019s someone you trust who is aware of your experience, consider asking them if you can practice what you will say with them. You can also try making notes to frame what you want to say.\r\n
3. Be intentional in choosing how, when, where, and if you tell someone<\/h1>\r\nYou can pick a time and place where you feel safe, mentally and physically, to have the conversation. You can choose to change your mind, if it just doesn\u2019t feel right.\r\n
4. Make an exit plan<\/h1>\r\nIf the conversation isn\u2019t unfolding in the way you hoped, or is overwhelming, it\u2019s okay to leave or change the subject. Remember that you deserve to be believed and you deserve support, even if the person you\u2019re telling doesn\u2019t offer that right away.\r\n
5. Allow yourself some time to do whatever is reassuring for you when the conversation is over<\/h1>\r\nThis can be having a friend standing by waiting to meet up and talk with you, or planning to go straight home where you can be alone. The unknown can be overwhelming, and having something safe and comfortable to look forward to can be helpful.\r\n\r\nNote: The way someone reacts is beyond your control. The purpose of these tools is not to guarantee the reaction you\u2019re hoping for, but to help you be as prepared and empowered as possible.\r\n\r\nShare these tips by clicking the graphic below:<\/a>\r\n\r\n
<\/a>\r\nPlease know that you are not alone. If you need to talk, we\u2019re here to listen.<\/h2>\r\nSafe Horizon\u2019s Hotlines operate 24 hours a day, including on holidays. Your call is confidential. Whether you\u2019re in crisis or you\u2019re unsure if your experience constitutes abuse, violence, or crime, we\u2019re here to help. Call 1-800-621-HOPE (4673)<\/a> to speak with an advocate today or visit our Hotlines page for more information<\/a>.","post_title":"\u201cI\u2019m Nervous That You Won\u2019t Believe Me:\u201d How To Prepare For A Difficult Conversation","post_excerpt":"Are you a survivor of violence or abuse? Ready to tell someone? Read our 5 tips on how to prepare for a difficult conversation.","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-prepare-difficult-conversation-abuse","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2025-06-10 13:45:07","post_modified_gmt":"2025-06-10 17:45:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"http:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/?p=5188","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"1","filter":"raw"}],"show_author_bio":false},"yoast_head":"\n