{"id":7233,"date":"2019-08-26T15:17:44","date_gmt":"2019-08-26T15:17:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/?p=7233"},"modified":"2025-09-03T17:42:47","modified_gmt":"2025-09-03T21:42:47","slug":"suing-school-child-victims-act","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/stories\/suing-school-child-victims-act\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I Am Suing My School"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

*Warning: The following discusses incidents of sexual assault that some readers may find disturbing or triggering.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Why<\/figure><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

By Brian Toale<\/em>
August 22, 2019<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In 1970, a predator working at my high school sensed a vulnerability in me and began \u201cgrooming\u201d me. He showed me more attention than I was used to, which made me feel special. When he first touched me inappropriately, I froze. He said I let him do it and used the fear and shame I felt to silence me and escalated the abuse throughout my senior year. My graduation ended the ordeal, and I vowed to myself I would carry my secret with me to the grave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I moved on, or so I thought. But the shame that was used to shut me up didn’t disappear. I pushed it out of my mind, but it ate away at me from the inside like rust corroding an iron structure in a place no one can see. Over the next twenty years, that structure slowly corroded until I crashed and burned. It took forty-five years before I found the inner strength to report the abuse to my former school. Today, I am grateful for years of therapy and 12 Step recovery and count myself among the lucky survivors who can tell their story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

Valentine’s Day, 2019, marked the signing of the Child Victims Act and the culmination of a 15-year David vs. Goliath battle to change New York State’s archaic, predator-friendly statute of limitations law for child abuse<\/a>. With his signature, the Governor gave survivors an opportunity to right a terrible wrong done to them as children.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Before the Child Victims Act, sexual abuse survivors had to seek justice by their 23rd birthday. Otherwise, their abuser was free to abuse still more children with impunity. The average age for an adult to disclose being sexually abused as a child is fifty-two, thirty years too late. Predators and their enablers had only to run out the clock, which they did over and over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Brian<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I, along with other survivors of child sex abuse, appear in Safe Horizon’s PSA to help raise awareness of the Child Victims Act<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today survivors can choose to file a lawsuit or not, but those twenty-three or over on the day the bill was signed, February 14th, must do so before August 14th, 2020. It is a very personal decision, which only the survivor can make. I am a survivor, and here is how I made my decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I decided to bring legal action against my high school because my school’s administration did not protect me. They allowed a seasoned sexual predator unfettered access to vulnerable children, including me, and gave him free rein to operate as he wished. As a result, my high school experience did more to cripple me than prepare me to make my mark on the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What Will I Gain by Suing my School?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

First, I am looking for answers that there is no other way to obtain but in court. Why was he able to do this to me; who else may have suffered the same fate? Second, I believe that telling my story under oath allows me to be seen, heard, and believed by a jury of my peers. Lastly, an outcome in my favor could provide some security in my senior years. My healing has required spending a large amount of money on therapy over the years, and I’m glad I did. It would be nice to get repaid for it and for what I went through for all of those years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Suing abusers and those who shielded them is not everyone’s cup of tea. No one should feel compelled to file a lawsuit because some window will open and close. But everyone deserves to be heard and believed. If you were sexually abused as a child and have never told anyone, please find someone to confide in. Find help at one of the many caring organizations (www.SafeHorizon.org<\/a> or www.SNAPnetwork.org<\/a>) that offer support to survivors of sexual violence. They can help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The scars of childhood abuse<\/a> never wholly disappear, as if the damage never happened. Sexual violence stole our childhoods from us. But as adults, we can learn we are survivors despite what we were forced to endure as children. If you are a survivor yourself, you are not alone. If you know a survivor, let them know they are not alone. Everyone deserves to heal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are an adult survivor of child sex abuse and are unsure if you would like to pursue legal action, read this blog post written by one of Safe Horizon’s mental health professionals.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“My school allowed a sexual predator access to vulnerable children, including me. Through the Child Victims Act, I will tell my story under oath – allowing me to be seen, heard, and believed by a jury of my peers.” – Brian Toale<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":{"id":7236,"alt_text":"Why I Am Suing My School Brian Toale Child Victims Act quote","caption":"","description":"","media_type":"image","media_details":{"width":800,"height":800,"file":"2019\/08\/Why-I-Am-Suing-My-School-Brian-Toale-Child-Victims-Act-quote.png","sizes":{"thumbnail":{"file":"Why-I-Am-Suing-My-School-Brian-Toale-Child-Victims-Act-quote-150x150.png","width":150,"height":150,"mime-type":"image\/png","source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/Why-I-Am-Suing-My-School-Brian-Toale-Child-Victims-Act-quote-150x150.png"},"medium":{"file":"Why-I-Am-Suing-My-School-Brian-Toale-Child-Victims-Act-quote-300x300.png","width":300,"height":300,"mime-type":"image\/png","source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/Why-I-Am-Suing-My-School-Brian-Toale-Child-Victims-Act-quote-300x300.png"},"medium_large":{"file":"Why-I-Am-Suing-My-School-Brian-Toale-Child-Victims-Act-quote-768x768.png","width":768,"height":768,"mime-type":"image\/png","source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/Why-I-Am-Suing-My-School-Brian-Toale-Child-Victims-Act-quote-768x768.png"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0","keywords":[]}},"post":7233,"source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/Why-I-Am-Suing-My-School-Brian-Toale-Child-Victims-Act-quote.png"},"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[1321,141,159,65,103,105],"class_list":["post-7233","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories","tag-brian-toale","tag-child-abuse","tag-child-sex-abuse","tag-child-victims-act","tag-rape","tag-sexual-assault","issue-child-abuse","issue-rape-and-sexual-assault"],"acf":{"page_header_title":"","page_header_excerpt":"","page_header_image":false,"custom_scripts":false,"show_author_bio":false,"original_url":"","related_initiative_title":"Want to learn more about how the CVA can help?","related_initiative_link":"\/get-help\/child-victims-act\/","related_initiative_link_text":"Visit our CVA resources page","featured_posts":[{"ID":7158,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2019-07-12 19:24:42","post_date_gmt":"2019-07-12 19:24:42","post_content":"By Sherri Papamihalis, LCSW-R<\/em>\r\nJuly 11, 2019<\/em>\r\n\r\nFor adults who survived sexual abuse when they were a child, the choice to pursue civil or criminal proceedings is personal and should be respected. First, it is ok for any survivor of sexual abuse not to know if they want to talk about it, let alone take legal action. Let us take a moment to acknowledge that sexual abuse is traumatic and it may have had many lasting effects that you could still live with regardless of what happens in a court.\r\n\r\nCriminal justice is not the only form of healing, and there is no guarantee for anyone who is able to initiate criminal proceedings that there will be a conviction of the abuser, and in civil court, there is no guarantee of a judgment in your favor. However emotional healing is something we all have control over.\r\n\r\nIf you are considering beginning the process of pursuing justice in the courts for abuse that happened when you were a child, here are a few considerations to be mindful of.\r\n

Why Consider Filing Now?<\/h1>\r\nIn 2019, survivors in New York State will have the opportunity to consider legal actions because of the Child Victims Act which creates a one-year window for people previously unable to initiate legal action because of the statute of limitations. If this includes you, here are some questions that might be raised if you do begin the legal process which you should prepare yourself for.<\/a>\r\n

Why Wouldn't I File?<\/h1>\r\nIt is not uncommon for people to experience new trauma symptoms when they revisit the old event or begin to talk about it. Some of these trauma symptoms can include physiological signs such as sensations in the genitals, extreme terror, heart racing, or insomnia.\r\n\r\nI advise anyone who is dealing with sexual assault to seek an emotional support network. It is important to have someone you trust that you can speak to, this can be a friend, spouse, clergy member or relative. Because coming out publicly about your sexual abuse can be traumatic by itself, please remember to take care of yourself and have a strong support network that can help you.\r\n

Alternatives to Legal Action: Safe Horizon is Here to Help<\/h1>\r\nYou can consider sharing your story with anyone you feel safe with. Sharing can be empowering and can help you accept that the abuser who may have gained the trust of your family or community when you were a child \u2013 no longer has the same power over you now that you are an adult. You are your own person and you can be free of the abuser\u2019s influence.\r\n\r\nSpeaking to a clinical professional, such as a counselor can also help. Safe Horizon's Counseling Center works with survivors of crime in New York City. It does not matter when the victimization occurred, our staff will conduct an intake session and develop a recovery plan that works for you. You can learn more about the Counseling Center<\/a> and how you can set up an appointment when you are ready.\r\n\r\nOur Community Program staff can also work with you to review your options including legal options and they can provide counseling and referrals. Our Community Program staff can advise you of what legal options you may now have but we are not able to provide legal assistance or legal advice. Learn more about our Community Programs<\/a>\u00a0and how you can get in touch.\r\n\r\nIf you are outside of New York City, you can contact the Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN)<\/a> for a referral to resources in your area, that may include counseling. Your health insurance provider may also be able to help with a referral for counseling. Another resource to help find counseling in your area is to search on Psychology Today<\/a>.\r\n\r\nRegardless of whether you are located in New York City or elsewhere, and regardless if you choose to pursue legal action or not, please remember that only you can decide what is right for you, and that may be different from one survivor to another. Whatever you decide, I wish you luck on your healing journey and encourage you to seek support and learn all of your options before taking any course of action. And remember that my colleagues and I are here to help.","post_title":"I Was Abused: Is Legal Action Right For Me?","post_excerpt":"For adult survivors of abuse, The Child Victims Act creates new avenues for legal recourse, but it that right for you? Our experts explain other ways to heal.","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"child-victims-act-choose-legal-action","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2025-06-10 13:51:39","post_modified_gmt":"2025-06-10 17:51:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"http:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/?p=7158","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":7160,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2019-07-12 19:26:37","post_date_gmt":"2019-07-12 19:26:37","post_content":"

\"\"<\/h2>\r\nFiling a civil case against an abuser may be emotionally challenging and potentially re-traumatizing. Finding an attorney or lawyer who has experience with sexual abuse cases can be helpful and even <\/span>provide emotional support or help you work through trauma.<\/span>\r\n\r\nOur mental health and legal experts created this guide of what questions to ask potential attorneys or lawyers when filing a civil lawsuit under the Child Victims Act or Adult Survivors Act. Here are some questions you can ask to help you find the right lawyer or attorney.<\/span>\r\n

How Much Experience the Attorney or Lawyer Has with Sexual Abuse Cases<\/h2>\r\nYou can also look at the firm\u2019s website to see if they have experience with sexual abuse cases. If the website has a laundry list of case types, such as motorcycle accidents, car accidents, medical malpractice, etc., the firm might not have expertise in sexual abuse cases.\u00a0<\/span>\r\n

How They Help Their Clients Manage the Emotional Challenges that Come with Filing Cases<\/h2>\r\nYou\u2019ll want to feel like your lawyer has both legal expertise and the ability to provide support during triggering or emotionally challenging moments. For example, your lawyer should have a plan for providing emotional support when preparing you for a deposition or trial. <\/span>\r\n

How Much Expertise the Attorney or Lawyer Has Handling Sexual Abuse Cases<\/h2>\r\nTo identify expertise you can look for their personal experience with sex abuse trials, opinion or legal articles they wrote, or speeches they give to professional organizations about best practices.<\/span>\r\n

How Long Have They Been Representing Victims of Sexual Abuse<\/h2>\r\nThe more specific experience a lawyer has with sex abuse cases, the better. That way they can be better prepared to make good decisions and give good advice.\u00a0<\/span>\r\n

If the Law Firm or Lawyer's Primary Office is in New York State<\/h2>\r\nAlthough you can consider lawyers located out of state, those in New York will likely have a better understanding of The Child Victims Act or Adult Survivors Act. They also may have a deeper understanding of New York State laws.<\/span>\r\n

Does it Matter How Much Money a Lawyer Has Previously Made Their Clients?<\/h2>\r\nNot necessarily. In many cases, firms that tout large settlements didn\u2019t get that settlement through sexual abuse cases.<\/span>\r\n\r\nBut more importantly, you should consider a lawyer who cares more about you than about a settlement.\u00a0<\/span>\r\n

How Expensive Will Filing a Case be?<\/h2>\r\nWhile this depends mostly on your case, a lawyer should be able to give you a ballpark. They should also be clear about their fees, including any fees for an initial consultation, their hourly rate, and\/or how they collect their money.\u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\nThe lawyer should also be upfront about whether they take on cases against abusers with fewer assets.<\/span>\r\n\r\nIn cases against institutions, lawyers may accept payment after the trial ends.\u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\nThese are all discussions you should have before choosing a lawyer.\u00a0<\/span>\r\n

What if an Attorney or Lawyer Doesn\u2019t Take my Case?<\/h2>\r\nFirst, whether a lawyer decides to take a case is not a reflection on your value as a person or the trauma of your abuse. Every victim and survivor deserves access to safety and support.<\/span>\r\n\r\nIf a lawyer decides not to take your case, you can explore more options through the <\/span>NY City Bar Association <\/span><\/a>or the <\/span>National Crime Victim Bar Association<\/span><\/a>. You can also call our helpline Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. at 855-234-1042 for more information.<\/span>\r\n\r\nIf you don\u2019t want to talk to a lawyer, you don\u2019t have to. Survivors process trauma in many different ways, and a legal case isn\u2019t right for everyone.<\/span>\r\n\r\nEven if you don\u2019t file a case, you might still want support. If you do, Safe Horizon is here for you.\u00a0Call our free, 24-hour hotline at\u00a01-800-621-HOPE (4673).<\/a><\/span>","post_title":"What to Consider When Picking a Lawyer to File a Sexual Assault Case","post_excerpt":"If you're a sexual assault survivor looking for advice on how to pick a lawyer to file a civil lawsuit, consult this guide.","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"pick-lawyer-attorney-sexual-assault-case","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2025-06-10 13:51:53","post_modified_gmt":"2025-06-10 17:51:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"http:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/?p=7160","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"title_font_size":"42","sub-headline_placement":false,"eyebrow":"","heading":"","text":"","primary_cta":"","hide_post_date":false,"authors":false},"yoast_head":"\nWhy I Am Suing My School<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\""My school allowed a sexual predator access to vulnerable children, including me. 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