![\"Older](\"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Older-Women-Get-Stalked-Too.png\")
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Healthy Women January is National Stalking Awareness Month<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n “I can see you.”<\/p>\n That’s the text Grace Alexander remembers most \u2014 because it was chilling. The words that followed complimented the pink floral top she was wearing as she bowled with her family.<\/p>\n This message from her ex-husband was just one of many, along with phone calls filled with threats of violence to himself, to Grace, and to her family. After blocking his number, Grace received calls from unknown numbers and often spotted his truck nearby, even though she believed she’d left him behind in another state.<\/p>\n After the bowling alley, Grace filed for a restraining order, thinking a judge would see the case clearly. She was hopeful in court when she saw a woman on the bench, but the judge believed her ex-husband’s claim that he’d been texting another woman with the same name, despite his description of Grace’s clothing.<\/p>\n That’s when Grace knew she needed to get even farther away.<\/p>\n According to the CDC, nearly one in six, or\u00a019.1 million<\/a>, U.S. women are victims of stalking at some point in their lifetime, and the majority of perpetrators\u00a0(61.5%) are current or former intimate partners<\/a>.<\/p>\n Most victims stalked by a partner also experience\u00a0other types of violence by the same hand<\/a>. “There’s a huge correlation. If you’re stalked by an intimate partner, you’ve likely also been previously assaulted by that partner or experienced\u00a0sexual assault<\/a>,” said\u00a0Jennifer Landhuis<\/a>, director of\u00a0The Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC)<\/a>, a federally funded project that provides education and resources about stalking.<\/p>\n Grace’s husband was\u00a0physically and sexually abusive<\/a>, raping her while she was eight months pregnant. When she finally saved enough money to divorce him, she legally moved away with her three kids, but he followed.<\/p>\n Grace’s experience with the judge who didn’t grant her restraining order was not unique. Despite the prevalence of stalking, a lack of acknowledgment by the criminal justice system and others is an ongoing issue.<\/p>\n Maureen Curtis<\/a>, vice president of Criminal Justice and Court Programs at Safe Horizon, the largest nonprofit victim services agency in the United States, explained that stalking behavior can be viewed as innocuous because it doesn’t necessarily involve physical harm, but it needs to be taken more seriously. “[Stalking] is one of the indicators of future lethal violence \u2026 so when there’s stalking in a relationship, we need to \u2026 treat it seriously, so that person gets meaningful services available for them,” Curtis said.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Though the typical\u00a0age of stalking victims<\/a>\u00a0is 18 to 24, 44.5% of victims are over 25, with 10.5% between 35 and 44 years old, and 7.6% over age 45. Grace was 40 years old when her stalking began.<\/p>\n Age seems to be irrelevant when it comes to the\u00a0tactics<\/a>\u00a0perpetrators use \u2014 the most common of which are unwanted messages and phone calls, followed by threats of physical harm and showing up at a victim’s location. Regardless of the victim’s age, the psychological effects can be the same.<\/p>\n “There’s definitely a very chronic trauma as a result of stalking. It’s not just like an acute trauma, meaning it’s not just that it’s a stressful experience to go through, and then once the stalking stops, then the victims just go on with their normal life. It\u00a0changes the chemistry in your brain<\/a>\u00a0to go through such a scary experience,” said\u00a0Liza Mordkovich<\/a>, psychotherapist and founder of Brooklyn Center for Mindfulness and Psychotherapy. The lasting effects may include\u00a0PTSD<\/a>,\u00a0anxiety<\/a>,\u00a0panic attacks<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0depression<\/a>.<\/p>\n “In general, we’re programmed to remember the bad stuff that happened to us, because it’s like a survival mechanism. If you touch a hot oven as a kid \u2026 you’re gonna remember for the rest of your life to be careful around an oven. So when you go through an experience like that, where really safety is a concern, it isn’t something that you’re ever going to forget,” she explained.<\/p>\n Grace only felt safe when she moved overseas. After she couldn’t get the restraining order, she purchased a shotgun \u2014 feeling forced to go against her beliefs about firearms in order to protect herself and those she loved \u2014 and expedited her plans to move to another country. Since her ex was put on the no-fly list after his involvement in a green card scam, Grace knew he could never reach her once she settled in a foreign country.<\/p>\n But Mordkovich said even when the threat no longer exists, many victims are left grappling with mental health issues, which can manifest in other areas of their lives. Early, evidence-based treatments such as\u00a0cognitive processing therapy<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0dialectical behavior therapy<\/a>\u00a0are helpful and sometimes necessary. Support groups can also be very effective.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Since March, we’ve been told that staying home will keep us and others safe. Unfortunately, for stalking victims, this isn’t always true.<\/p>\n Research on COVID-19’s effects on stalking explains that the isolation of quarantine can magnify stalkers’ feelings of rejection and intensify fixations, leading to increased stalking behaviors. Victims’ inability to leave home means perpetrators always know their location. According to a study by the digital security company Avast, there was a 51% increase in the use of online spyware between March and June, 2020.<\/p>\n Curtis explained that her agency made most of their programs remote and spread the word in order to combat this. \u201cParticularly early on, we were really strategic in making sure that survivors knew that many of our programs were working remotely,” she said.<\/p>\n More advocates were added to Safe Horizon’s live chat option, and the agency worked virtually with government partners and other organizations to help victims.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Fortunately, there are many resources available for victims of stalking. “There’s a network of domestic violence and sexual programs all across the country,” Landhuis explained.<\/p>\n Victims can call hotlines, like the\u00a0National Domestic Violence Hotline<\/a>\u00a0or the\u00a0National Sexual Assault Hotline<\/a>, which both also offer live chat. Expert advocates will give support, share information, and refer callers to appropriate programs nearby.<\/p>\n And, if one of your friends is a target of stalking or another form of intimate partner violence, the best thing you can do is be present. Social support can have a strong positive effect on lasting mental health issues. Check in and ask your friend what they need.<\/p>\n “Don’t necessarily provide any advice \u2026 Just listen. Ask someone how they feel and just create that safe space,” Mordkovich said.<\/p>\n Read the original article here.<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Most victims stalked by a partner also experience other types of violence no matter their age or idenitiy. Safe Horizon’s Maureen Curtis comments.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":{"id":9685,"alt_text":"Support children and families in domestic violence shelters","caption":"Peggy Duffy Memorial fund","description":"Support children and families in domestic violence shelters","media_type":"image","media_details":{"width":512,"height":512,"file":"2022\/07\/Safe-Horizon-Flower-Logo_TransparentThumbnail.png","filesize":31715,"sizes":{"medium":{"file":"Safe-Horizon-Flower-Logo_TransparentThumbnail-300x300.png","width":300,"height":300,"mime-type":"image\/png","filesize":18595,"source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Safe-Horizon-Flower-Logo_TransparentThumbnail-300x300.png"},"thumbnail":{"file":"Safe-Horizon-Flower-Logo_TransparentThumbnail-150x150.png","width":150,"height":150,"mime-type":"image\/png","filesize":8008,"source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Safe-Horizon-Flower-Logo_TransparentThumbnail-150x150.png"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0","keywords":[]}},"post":9684,"source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Safe-Horizon-Flower-Logo_TransparentThumbnail.png"},"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[72],"tags":[92,290,292],"class_list":["post-8348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-safe-horizon-in-the-news","tag-domestic-violence","tag-stalking","tag-stalking-awareness-month","issue-domestic-violence","issue-stalking"],"acf":{"page_header_title":"","title_font_size":"42","page_header_excerpt":"","sub-headline_placement":false,"page_header_image":false,"custom_scripts":false,"show_author_bio":false,"original_url":"","related_initiative_title":"Do you need help?","related_initiative_link":"\/emergency","related_initiative_link_text":"Visit our Emergency Page with Current Services","featured_posts":[{"ID":8305,"post_author":"12","post_date":"2021-01-28 17:31:18","post_date_gmt":"2021-01-28 22:31:18","post_content":"
\nBy Kimberly Rex
\n<\/em>January 6, 2021<\/em><\/p>\n\nStalking by numbers<\/h3>\n
\nPsychological aftermath<\/h3>\n
\nStalking during the pandemic<\/h3>\n
\nWays to get help if you\u2019re being stalked<\/h3>\n
![\"8](\"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/iStock-CyberStalking-Jan2021.jpg\")
\r\n\r\nJanuary 28, 2021\r\nBy Wendell Thomas<\/em>\r\n\r\nAs a society, we have been relying on and using digital technology more and more to connect and live. T<\/span>he COVID-19 pandemic has moved\u00a0<\/span>us more into the digital space as we\u00a0<\/span>work-from-home,\u00a0<\/span>virtually attend<\/span>\u00a0school, and us<\/span>e<\/span>\u00a0electronic forms of communication\u00a0<\/span>24\/7\u00a0<\/span>as a way of life<\/span>. This means that<\/span>\u00a0increased knowledge about cybercrime is more important now than ever.<\/span> While January is recognized as National Stalking Awareness Month,\u00a0<\/span>we should also raise awareness<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>of cyberstalking at any time during the year<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\nSo<\/span>,<\/span>\u00a0what is cyberstalking and what are the steps you can take to protect yourself?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\nWhat is\u00a0<\/span><\/b>S<\/span><\/b>talking?<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\nMost of us might be aware of the meaning of stalking. We've either have experienced it first-hand, know someone who experienced\u00a0<\/span>it or<\/span>\u00a0ha<\/span>ve<\/span>\u00a0seen it in movies or television.\u00a0<\/span>Stalking<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>can\u00a0<\/span>involve secretly following the victim, consistent and devious phone calls, sending unwanted gifts, and other means of unwanted physical contact.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>For more information on stalking behaviors, visit our facts about Stalking page<\/a>.<\/span>\r\n\r\nWhat is\u00a0<\/span><\/b>C<\/span><\/b>yberstalking?<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\nLike stalk<\/span>ing<\/span>, cyberstal<\/span>king is\u00a0<\/span>intended<\/span>\u00a0to threaten, harass, and embarrass<\/span>,<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>only<\/span>\u00a0with cyberstalking<\/span>,<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>technology\u00a0<\/span>is used. The technology<\/span>\u00a0used by\u00a0<\/span>cyberstalkers<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>can include\u00a0<\/span>social media, email, instant messaging (text and SMS), computers, mobile\u00a0<\/span>devices,<\/span>\u00a0and information available on the Internet.\u00a0<\/span>Over the past ten years, i<\/span>nstances of reported cyberstalking have risen as stalkers have more access to victims' personal information from online and social media platforms.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\nCyberstalking poses additional\u00a0<\/span>threats,<\/span>\u00a0such as sexual harassment, sexual extortion, and damaging a\u00a0<\/span>person\u2019s<\/span>\u00a0reputation. When you add physical and cyberstalking, the threats are compounded and pose more significant harm.\u00a0<\/span>Our new normal, being totally virtual for work, school<\/span>,<\/span>\u00a0and a host of other activities, makes it easier for\u00a0<\/span>cyberstalkers<\/span>\u00a0and cyberbullies to track and harass\u00a0<\/span>users<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\nHere a few key tips to safety plan against cyberstalking:\u00a0<\/strong>\r\n\r\n \t
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