<\/p>\n
Rolling Stone<\/em> <\/p>\n Excerpt:<\/em><\/p>\n Several years ago, Annie decided to buy a van. With her partner at the time, she made a pact: they were going to save $10,000 each and then hit the road for a year, living out of their van and hitting 49 states.<\/p>\n It was fairly early in the evolution of the #vanlife influencer community on social media. At the time, there were few depictions of the lifestyle on Instagram: cozy, sun-drenched selfies in perfectly appointed backseats with nary a crumpled Doritos bag or empty soda bottle in sight; bright red buttes and cliffs framed by flawlessly filtered vistas. But Annie was drawn to the idea of total freedom, of seeing places she\u2019d never been before, of not being tethered to a schedule or agenda. \u201cIt\u2019s a lot less destination and trail-focused, but focused on the concept of living outside, living freely, not being tied to the 9 to 5, being tied to my body and mind,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n Annie, whose name has been changed, says that she and her partner had been dating for about six months before they set off on the road together. The relationship was not going well; she says her partner exhibited verbally abusive, controlling behavior, constantly interrogating her about her past romantic relationships and preventing her from going out with certain people. Then it started to turn physical, she says: he would punch walls, back her into corners, or scream while she cowered beneath him. But she felt hopeful that living their shared dream together would bring about a shift. \u201cWe\u2019d been working towards a big project for what felt like a really long time. I felt like I\u2019d feel remorseful if I didn\u2019t just try to get on the road and maybe things would change,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n As Annie describes it, they didn\u2019t. As they traveled throughout the United States, the abuse continued apace, Annie says. \u201cThere was more isolation. We went all over the country and we were in the middle of nowhere most of the time,\u201d she says. \u201cAll my belongings were with me and stress was really high.\u201d Because they were together in a small space 24\/7, she had no ability to communicate with her family and friends what was going on. \u201cI thought \u2018Can I endure this for another 24 hours? Is this the day I can sneak away and leave and get a flight even though I have no car and any way to get anywhere?,’\u201d she says.<\/p>\n Eventually, Annie says, she and her former partner got in a booze-and-jealousy-fueled argument, which culminated in him grabbing her by the throat. She says he later claimed he was trying to keep her quiet, so other campers wouldn\u2019t hear her shouting. \u201cI was scared and I was ashamed,\u201d she says. \u201cIt was the most violent things had gotten at that point.\u201d<\/p>\n Annie does not believe that her road trip with her then-partner caused or exacerbated the abuse. \u201cIt was already progressing over time anyways,\u201d she says. \u201cI think it was a form of isolation that he was able to use as a tactic.\u201d Yet her experience reflects the darker side of\u00a0the hyper-curated, Instagram-ready #vanlife couple aesthetic, in which the circumstances of the lifestyle \u2014 disconnection from one\u2019s support system, social isolation, nomadism \u2014 create the perfect conditions for already-existing abuse to worsen.\u00a0\u201cThis is a life of wanderlust,\u201d says Travis Wild, a van life blogger who wrote a post on the subject of\u00a0domestic abuse<\/a>\u00a0in the community in 2020. \u201cBut at the same time these are issues our community is facing and it won\u2019t get any better by not talking about it.\u201d<\/p>\n Domestic abuse within the van life community has gotten some attention with the disappearance and death of\u00a0Gabby Petito<\/a>, who with her boyfriend Brian Laundrie vlogged about their van life adventures on their YouTube channel, Nomadic Statik. Since her disappearance, details have emerged regarding Petito\u2019s relationship with Laundrie, whom friends described as jealous and controlling<\/a>. (Laundrie has disappeared and was thus unavailable to be reached for comment.)<\/p>\n Audio from a 911 call following a dispute the couple had in Moab, Utah supports the idea that the relationship was at the very least highly toxic, with one witness reporting that he had seen Laundrie slap Petito and another stating that the pair argued \u201caggressively.\u201d Bodycam footage taken by police showed officers questioning Laundrie about scratches on his face, which he said were from Petito; Petito, for her part, seemed agitated in the footage, assuming blame for the entire incident.<\/p>\n On September 1st, Laundrie returned to Florida by himself, and on September 11, Petito\u2019s family reported her missing. Petito\u2019s remains were found in Wyoming on Sunday, and police are\u00a0currently searching for Laundrie in Venice, Florida,<\/a>\u00a0where Laundrie last told his parents he was headed.<\/p>\n \u201cBeing in close contact with many people could lead to contentious relationships,\u201d says Maureen Curtis, vice president of criminal justice programs at Safe Horizon, a\u00a0national domestic violence hotline<\/a>. \u201cWe saw it with Covid and the increase with physical violence, or family violence where we saw more reports of escalated violence between family members. People were confined to tight spaces. So yes, it\u2019s not surprising if I\u2019m traveling around in an RV, that could lead to an escalation of violence if there is already some type of DV.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Read the original article here.<\/i><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The Gabby Petito case exposed domestic abuse in the van life community. Safe Horizon’s Maureen Curtis explains.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":{"id":9685,"alt_text":"Support children and families in domestic violence shelters","caption":"Peggy Duffy Memorial fund","description":"Support children and families in domestic violence shelters","media_type":"image","media_details":{"width":512,"height":512,"file":"2022\/07\/Safe-Horizon-Flower-Logo_TransparentThumbnail.png","filesize":31715,"sizes":{"medium":{"file":"Safe-Horizon-Flower-Logo_TransparentThumbnail-300x300.png","width":300,"height":300,"mime-type":"image\/png","filesize":18595,"source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Safe-Horizon-Flower-Logo_TransparentThumbnail-300x300.png"},"thumbnail":{"file":"Safe-Horizon-Flower-Logo_TransparentThumbnail-150x150.png","width":150,"height":150,"mime-type":"image\/png","filesize":8008,"source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Safe-Horizon-Flower-Logo_TransparentThumbnail-150x150.png"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0","keywords":[]}},"post":9684,"source_url":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Safe-Horizon-Flower-Logo_TransparentThumbnail.png"},"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[72],"tags":[1729,1707,1733,1731],"class_list":["post-9315","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-safe-horizon-in-the-news","tag-vanlife","tag-gabby-petito","tag-nomadic-lifestyle","tag-van-life","issue-domestic-violence"],"acf":{"page_header_title":"","title_font_size":"42","page_header_excerpt":"","sub-headline_placement":false,"page_header_image":false,"custom_scripts":false,"show_author_bio":false,"original_url":"","related_initiative_title":"Do you need help?","related_initiative_link":"\/emergency","related_initiative_link_text":"Visit our Emergency Page with Current Services","featured_posts":[{"ID":9294,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2021-09-23 15:50:12","post_date_gmt":"2021-09-23 19:50:12","post_content":" \r\n\r\nQueens Chronicle<\/em>\r\nBy Katherine Donlevy<\/em>\r\nSeptember 23, 2021<\/em>\r\n\r\nExcerpt:<\/em>\r\n\r\nThe tragedy of Gabby Petito\u2019s death, and the widespread belief that it was at the hands of her fianc\u00e9, has sparked national conversations on how well-disguised an abusive relationship can be.\r\n\r\nThe couple seemed to put their personal life on display. As Petito, 22, and Brian Laundrie, 23, traveled across the country, they documented their days through social media and vlogs. But if speculation proves to be true, and Laundrie is responsible for Petito\u2019s death, then the posts were hiding a much darker reality.\r\n\r\n\u201cIt is very different behind closed doors,\u201d said Manisha Shah, the senior director of the<\/strong> Crime Victim Assistance Program<\/a> at Safe Horizon, a victim services nonprofit based in New York City.\r\n\r\nAccording to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 72 percent of all murder-suicides in the U.S. are committed by an intimate partner. Almost all the victims \u2014 94 percent \u2014 are female. One in three women, and one in four men, have experienced some form of physical violence by a partner, according to NCADV data.\r\n\r\nDomestic abuse begins well before it escalates to homicide, Shah pointed out. Red flags can be pinpointed even before the abuse becomes physical, she said.\r\n\r\n\u201cBut there are a lot of telltale signs that everyone can identify, and help identify survivors in advance,\u201d said Shah.\r\n\r\nRecognizing the signs<\/strong>\r\n\r\nMany of the warning signals that indicate an abusive relationship can be subtle, Shah said. They can come in a variety of forms, and not all are physical, but most stem from one partner being controlling over another.\r\n\r\n\u201cIf a partner doesn\u2019t like it when their significant other spends too much time with you, is constantly texting and calling them; if a friend abruptly cancels plans, but it\u2019s not their nature, it\u2019s a red flag,\u201d said Shah. \u201cThey don\u2019t have power or control in their life to make decisions.\u201d\r\n\r\nShah said that personality changes are a major indicator that something may be off. A once-outgoing friend who has developed new insecurities and declines invitations for outings, or a friend whose personal hygiene has slipped into disorder could be experiencing a form of abuse, she said.\r\n\r\n\u201cAnother big red flag is when a friend often tells you they can\u2019t prioritize their needs because they have to cater to their partner. I think it\u2019s a telltale sign that it\u2019s entering abusive territory,\u201d said Shah.\r\n\r\nAbusive relationships often manifest in physical assault, she continued. Inexplicable cuts and bruises, as well as the victim wearing baggy clothes to hide them, can be a good indicator.\r\n\r\nFrancine Kelly, the senior director of patient care services at Long Island Jewish Forest Hills-Northwell Health, said warning signs can vary depending on the relationship between the abuser and victim. Abuse between partners, a parent and child or toward an elder can present itself in different ways, she said. That\u2019s why Kelly and her staff pay close attention to an injured party\u2019s behavior as closely as his or her wounds.\r\n\r\n\u201cThey may be fearful. They may not want to volunteer information,\u201d Kelly said. \u201cWe have to be mindful if they come in with somebody who presents with them that they may be involved in the violence ... Sometimes you just take a pause and say, \u2018Something\u2019s not right here.\u2019\u201d\r\n\r\nProviding support<\/strong>\r\nOnce suspicion has been raised, Kelly said, the most important next step is to give the victim a chance to talk in a private, nonjudgmental setting.\r\n\r\n\u201cThe person themselves has to be the one ready to reach out for help and be accepting of it,\u201d said Kelly. \u201cPerhaps they\u2019re fearful of the situation they\u2019re involved in. Give them the opportunity to speak privately. Really listen to what they\u2019re saying, validating them.\u201d\r\n\r\nIt may be hard for victims to open up because denial is a typical coping mechanism, said Yvette Caro, who directs the Queens College Psychological Counseling Center. In many instances of domestic violence, victims blame themselves for prompting their abuser to act out, she said.\r\n\r\n\u201cShame is such a big piece of it in so many ways,\u201d said Caro. \u201cOftentimes friends don\u2019t know how to help. They think they\u2019ll make it worse by saying something. You can\u2019t control their lives, but it\u2019s important for them to be able to speak in a judgment-free way to their friends.\u201d\r\n\r\nA tactic Caro suggested is speaking to a victim in very specific terms. Letting friends know that they are always welcome to show up at your home, even in the middle of the night, or offering to drive them to a therapist when they\u2019re ready to talk are important steps in letting a victim know that opportunities are available.\r\n\r\nAccess to resources<\/strong>\r\n\r\nPutting victims in touch with resources to help them safely exit an abusive relationship is key to ending violence before it escalates. Having an exit plan prepared prior to leaving the relationship, and having professionals on your side are safe ways to leave an abusive partner.\r\n\r\nThere are shelters throughout the city that house victims who feel unsafe in their homes. There are domestic violence advocates in every NYPD police precinct. There are hotlines for victims, such as Safe Horizon\u2019s at 1 (800) 621-HOPE (4673).\r\n\r\nRead the original article here.<\/em><\/a>","post_title":"Abuse Can be Subtle, But Not Always Invisible","post_excerpt":"The Gabby Petito case has brought domestic violence and abusive relationships into focus. Safe Horizon's Manisha Shah explains the signs.","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"abuse-can-be-subtle-but-not-always-invisible","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-29 20:13:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-30 00:13:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.safehorizon.org\/?p=9294","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}]},"yoast_head":"\n
\nBy EJ Dickson<\/em>
\nSeptember 24, 2021\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n